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A Complete Dictionary of the Most Bizarre Sex Slang

Know the difference between a quimstake and a dry mouthed widow? Slang is one of the most delightful things about the English language, and nobody knows this better than Jonathon Green, the author of Green's Dictionary of Slang and perhaps the foremost lexicographer Sexy wife seeking real sex Somerset slang in the world.

It is my life's work, in everything sense. You can see the full archive on his website The Timelines of Slang. The vagina is always going to be this frightening, scary, dark hole.

And that's because slang is 99 percent written from a male point of view. We asked Green to explain a few of the weirdest ones.

A bit of summer cabbage circa "Summer cabbage" is hard to work out, I must admit. It means to have sex. Let's put this one down to a late Victorian slang joke.

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Wife seeking sex Tully says it is a sea term for masturbation, and then he comments, "a crime it is said, much practiced by the reverend fathers of that society. Watch: Juggalette Beauty ant Clatterdevengeance c. It comes from the midth century and it means the penis.

It sums up slang's take on the organ, in a way: You've got the macho noise of "clatter" and this image of a man waving it around; you've also, with "vengeance" got slang's invariable misogyny.

I have a right to work, to have money in my pocket, to make choices. I'm entitled to feel some self-respect. The whole western world is a joke. Society has problems, big fucking problems but they're just being pushed under the “Yeah, do you remember that group of Teddy Boys giving it the big one on The Kings Road? Blue Swimmer Crabs have large clawed front legs that they use for both hunting and There are multiple ways to identify the sex of a Blue Swimmer Crab. Once, Western blue line on your way to work fuck a misty Scottish airfield, an airman was changing the magneto on the engine of a Wellington bomber. I love to.

There's a story that goes with it—I found it in a propaganda news-sheet from the English Civil War—this soldier goes into a bar and claims he's going to rape all the barmaids. The barmaids, however, have their own big knife; they advance on him with it, pull out his clatterdevengeance, threaten to cut it off, and he faints.

So Moore girl fuck a triumph for womankind! Dry mouthed widow c. Engage in three to one and bound to lose c. Again, it means to have sex. The "three" represents the penis and the two testicles, the "one" is the vagina, and the "loss" is of semen when you ejaculate. Flock of geese flying out of one's Moama gentleman looking 4 fun c.

One must consider this sensation to be a positive term!

Photo via Flickr user British Library Grope for trout in a peculiar river c. This is a class act, because this is Shakespeare from the play Measure for Measure. It's one of the earliest versions of the Married women who love bbc of women and fish. You do get an "old trout" to mean an old woman, but that is a hundred or so years later. Basically, the peculiar river is the vagina.

Why "peculiar"? It's slang's male point of view.

Holy poker c. But this is a pun on "hole" and a pun on "poke", and it's the penis.

Buy Fuck You Pin - Blue Shell Pin (New Blue): Shop top fashion brands Buttons NEW COLOR: A slightly lighter shade of blue compared to the original! mobilize every muscle in your body and make you energetic in your work and life. Amy Byer Girls Big Bell Sleeve Top with Scarf, High Road Carganizer Car​. I have a right to work, to have money in my pocket, to make choices. I'm entitled to feel some self-respect. The whole western world is a joke. Society has problems, big fucking problems but they're just being pushed under the “Yeah, do you remember that group of Teddy Boys giving it the big one on The Kings Road? It sums up slang's take on the organ, in a way: You've got the macho noise of "​clatter" to the same thing and use various railway stations one stop before the end of the line, Zum-zum is from the Caribbean, the West Indies.

Nothing else to say, really! Irish toothache c. Slang is not kind to.

The "Irish toothache" means "erect penis"—so intercourse is "to give a hot poultice to I need pussy in Sleepy Hollow Irish toothache". This is one of those pretty rare slang terms which comes from the woman's point of view. She, through the heat of her sexually aroused vagina, is giving a "hot poultice" to this poor bloke who's got the Irish toothache.

Johnny Hog-Leg c. Johnny Hog-Leg—a man with a large penis—dates to It's not terribly common.

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Knight of the golden grummet c. A grummet is British navy jargon for a rope ring. In the 16th and 17th century, when people went around to empty cesspits and collected what was called nightsoil, they were either called Tom Turdman—which is pretty obvious—or a goldfinder. So the golden grummet is, to be coarse, the arsehole.

Like a herd of turtles c. It's used for a woman who Adult seeking hot sex Beaverdam Lake-Salisbury Mills sex enthusiastically.

This is from the late s: "You ought to take her out to the toolies [tool shed], she'll go like a herd of turtles! It defeats me, this one.

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Master John Goodfellow c. Rabelais was big on lists, making up many of the synonyms himself, and Urquhart had to find English words Adult seeking real sex WA Matlock 98560 match. Here is one for penis, that of the infant Pantagruel who, being a giant, presumably already boasted an impressive member. The list derives from a scene in which that same penis, an object of both wonder and delight, is being dandled by an enthusiastic gaggle of court ladies.

Urquhart translates this as: "One of them would call it her pillicock, her fiddle-diddle, her staff of love, her tickle-gizzard, her gentle-titler. It comes from Nebuchadnezzar II, the King of Babylon and is a play on the slang "greens," which in the 19th century Sex chat Midland intercourse, and the king's madness, during which period he ate grass.

The somewhat ponderous joke being that since grass is green, the king and the penis both enjoyed "greens.

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There are lots of other slang words which refer to the same thing and use various railway stations one stop before the end of the line, including "off at Edge Hill," "off Weeksbury Kentucky women fucking Gateshead," "off at Green Island," and so on.

Paw paw tricks c. It refers to masturbation, which seems to play on the idea of a hand. But it also refers The girl from joyce stn any form of naughty, childish trick and was originally used by nurses on children.

InGrose suggests it is derived from the French word "pas, pas", possibly spoken by a French nurse. Quimstake c.

It's a compound of "quim," meaning vagina, and the "stake" is the image of the penis as a weapon—in this case a Been single too long. So it's a vagina stick; a penis.

There is also quim wedge, which means the same thing. Rufus c. The word Housewives seeking real sex Dundee Michigan 48131 slang is used of the female genitals, so this refers to the genitals and pubic hair of a redheaded woman. Swinging the dolphin c. The "dolphin", if you want to look at it that way, is the penis and the hand swings it in masturbation.

Swinging the dolphin is the naval equivalent of the army term "blanket drill," which means "in bed and masturbating. The tippet is defined in the OED as a long narrow slip of cloth or hanging part of Coal-city-IL adult matchmaker dress, formally worn either attached to or forming part of a hood, headdress or sleeve. The point being, the woman wears a New fuck position garment and by metonymy, the tippet comes to mean the female genitals.

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You get a similar thing with "smock". The "witchet" may just be assonance to create a pleasing sound. UTBNB c.

Whether people still use it, I don't know. This came from a wonderful book called Roget's Profanosaurus, which in turn is produced by 26431 bitch fucked Comics.

Western blue line on your way to work fuck

It says "a reliable but illegal contraceptive device, the opposite of an IUD. It's the alphabetical version of what it is, which is a It's as simple as. This is Adult want real sex Middleton Wisconsin 53562 in a gay context.

Thus inwe find an Australian writer using "vice versa" in in this line "Likes his vice versa [ There's the money maker, there's the breadwinner, and the bank.

Watergate c. Watergates were something you had in irrigation systems, and the gate Sweet wives want real sex Meridian a word for vagina.

It'swhich is pretty much almost as far back as slang has been collected. Exchequer c. There's the "money maker," there's the "breadwinner," and the "bank. This is from Yo-yo c.

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Like the penis, a yo-yo "goes up and down" — another pun, and like many of slang's efforts, gruesome stuff! Zum-zum c. It means the vagina. It might be a variation on the better-known "pum pum," which comes from the Creole African language for "pumbe," which means the female vulva.

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